Rigid Thinking
Why do you think like that? Sound familiar? Whether it be from a family member, friend, loved one or even co-worker. Rigid thinking can also be referred to as black-and-white thinking, right or wrong thinking, all-or-nothing thinking, etc. Rigid thinking goes hand in hand with stress, self-esteem, anxiety, depression and other mental concerns we may think of that limit not only the capacity of which we are capable of processing information but also our creativity in our thinking. An example everyone can get behind is ice cream, walking into Dairy Queen and having the options of vanilla, strawberry, chocolate, almond butter, cookies and cream, pistachio, butter pecan and various other options. Rigid thinking tells you, “I can only get vanilla because I like vanilla. Vanilla is best; the other flavours taste bad.” Some of you reading this blog may think, "That seems fair." You would be correct, but why not ask, "Have you tried chocolate? Strawberry? Cookies and Cream?" Rigid thinking is not liking vanilla because it's a preference; rigid thinking is liking vanilla without knowing the taste of chocolate.
Rigid thinking can sometimes be confused with OCD when, in fact, that is not true. Rigid thinking is conditions for living for a person to get through day by day and what we look for is the function and purpose of someone’s rigid thinking. If you were like me at some point in your life, you've probably heard your parents say something along the lines of this is what it is because I say it is. And then we think to ourselves, why do my parents think this type of way growing up in different environments, in different countries at different times. All these things shape our thinking growing up and thinking a certain way; sometimes, it's hard for us to switch our thinking. An example for myself is thinking men should be providers. Experiencing what my father had taught me and then his father had taught him and so on and so forth, this was normal and because of that, there are rigid patterns in my thinking regarding that topic. In the previous paragraph, I mentioned function and purpose and we have to understand that things do not have to be inherently negative. The purpose and function of my behaviour is to motivate myself for my future and for those who will be in my life, whether it be my partner or kids in the future. What are some of yours?
“A rigid mind is very sure but often wrong. A flexible mind is generally unsure but often right.”
Rigid thinking does not only mean that thinking is negative and harmful, but there are times when rigid thinking has served a purpose in your life to get you through tough times. Some examples are:
• Not going out to parties because of school
• Working hard to open up your own company
• Working on an assignment the night day
• Cannot walk down the alleyway at night
• Having to get 8 hours of sleep
At one point or another, rigid thinking may have served a purpose in allowing us to deal with certain situations that we have been in, whether that was trying to get through college or university, working a full-time job while raising a child or taking care of a parent, trying to manage a relationship and afford housing. Rigid thinking, when used in a positive light, can prove to be beneficial, but what happens is when that situation secures completing college or university, rigid thinking in that behaviour that may have once been beneficial in that scenario transfers over into another aspect of life such as working from home where you no longer need to stay up long hours, but it is what your body has become accustomed to and what you may believe helps.
It can be challenging to identify your own type of rigid thinking because it is your own and you might see pieces of fluidity in your thinking while others may view your thinking as Rigid. While reading this, you may have already identified some of your own patterns of thinking that mean, in fact, being rigid, but before you label it as negative, try to look for the purpose of why, at one point, you had thought a certain way or why you still currently think. If you can find a purpose behind your thought process, then you might also be able to find the function and purpose. Sometimes, to make a bad or terrible situation tolerable, we have to have a certain mindset, which is where rigid thinking can occur. Try to remember that, at one point, this way of thinking you or someone you've spoken may have served a purpose or function to help them get through a situation, so before you think differently about how someone speaks or thinks, it is about taking a step back and looking at how said thinking benefits the person prior or currently.