If you live with chronic conditions, it can be difficult to explain to others the impact they have on your daily life. It’s not as simple as just getting up in the morning, getting ready, going to work, etc. Everything that we do in a day from getting out of bed to housework to our jobs and childcare all come at a “cost.” The spoon theory was created as a simple way for those with chronic conditions (and neurodivergence too!) to explain their capacity each day. What is Spoon Theory? Being in pain or experiencing a whole host of symptoms each day is exhausting in an of itself, combined with the things that we typically need to do each day such as getting a shower, going to work, taking care of kids, doing the dishes - there is only so much bandwidth we have and only so much that bandwidth allows us to do.

Spoon theory evolved as an easy and visual way of explaining this capacity issue to those newly diagnosed with chronic conditions and others. Essentially, we all only have a certain amount of spoon each day - let’s say 10. Everything we do in a day, no matter how simple, will cost us a certain number of spoons. Each person will have a different cost for each activity (someone without chronic conditions may only use one spoon for everything, someone with ADHD may use 5 spoons for certain executive functioning tasks, etc). Knowing how many spoons we start with each day (it may be less if you overdid yourself the day before, or more if you’ve spent a few days resting) and what each activity costs you allows you to learn to pace yourself which in turn helps with daily functioning.

An Example:

Let’s say today is a fairly good day so you’re starting with 10 spoons. You wake up and need to get out of bed and get dressed for the day. Today that only costs you one spoon. Next, you head to the kitchen to make a quick breakfast of egg and toast. That costs you two spoons. Your dog needs to go for a walk, you decide that it’s best to do that now while you’re still feeling a bit of energy so you head out for a walk. That costs you three spoons (you’re starting to feel the fatigue setting in now). You need to do some work from home today, not long but about 4 hours of admin work on the computer. You’re already feeling a bit low on energy at this point so this ends up costing you 4 spoons today. Wait. That’s all 10 spoons! But you still have to make dinner, do the dishes, shower… This is an example of what it can often be like for those living with chronic conditions. Even when we’ve lived with something for years, we can run out of spoons before we’re finished with what needs to be done for the day. That's why many of us will have built in “safety nets” of things like frozen dinners, food delivery subscriptions, dog walkers, etc. that help when we have tried to stretch our 10 spoons a little too far, especially if we’re single or don’t have other supports to help with certain tasks.

Tomorrow, you may wake up and have 5 spoons because of having a flare-up, or you may have 15 because of a great night’s sleep. It’s a matter of checking in with yourself and choosing the things you need/want to do each day and pacing yourself where needed. In the above example, maybe I was trying to walk my dog for 45 minutes, but I started to feel a bit tired 15 minutes in - instead of pushing through I may have been able to cut the walk short, offer my dog a puzzle mat full of treats to rid them of some extra energy from the shorter nap and saved myself a spoon that could have gotten me to dinner. Pacing and when and where to put extra effort or ease up on yourself can be a difficult balance but it is something many of us learn with time.

What’s a “Spoonie?” Spoonie is the term that many in the chronic pain/illness community and more increasingly the neurodivergent community use to describe themselves as someone living with conditions like fibromyalgia, IBD, hypermobility disorders, migraines, arthritis, and more. It’s a way of saying “I need to ration my energy” and feel a part of a larger community of people that have to do the same. There are tons of online forums and communities built for spoonies filled with supports and resources and “life hacks” for living with limited spoons!

Spoon theory may have started with chronic conditions in mind, but it has become an easy way to describe and understand capacity as it relates to living with a wide range of things including mental health concerns like depression and anxiety. Overall, it can be a great lesson in learning not to overextend yourself

Related Blog Posts