Self-Care: What It Is, and What It Is Not
Have you ever been told to prioritize self-care and instead of feeling energized by the idea, you instantly felt exhausted or unable to add more to your plate? In this day in age, it can be challenging to make time for yourself, while trying to balance the demands of every day life. In fact, it is common to prioritize responsibilities, deadlines, or the needs of others over our own. After becoming a new mom, I remember feeling frustrated that I no longer had the time or finances to do favourable activities that I considered self-care. I was constantly reading about the importance of self-care with an emphasis on new moms ensuring they get back to their old self. The pressure surrounding the buzz of self-care made me feel like I was inadequate because all of my old “self-care” practices were simply not possible. As a counselling student, I recall my professor asking me what my self-care routine was and I had no other response but to laugh. Balancing full time work, full time studies, and being a single mother, it felt impossible to add something else to my calendar or list of responsibilities. Yes, my plate was very full but my understanding of the concept of self-care was completely wrong.
What Self-Care Is
Self-care refers to the daily activities and practices that nurture your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. These activities can be integrated into your routine to create a more balanced and fulfilling life. Engaging in self-care helps you feel more aligned and connected with yourself, making daily stressors more manageable. It fosters resilience, empowering you to better handle stress and adversity. Additionally, self-care can positively influence how you perceive yourself and your circumstances.
What Self-Care Is Not
Self-care has become a popular trend, especially on social media, where many people use it to subscribe to beauty trends, justifying money spent on products and brands. The guilt that comes from online shopping, fine dining, or trying to keep up with the latest beauty trends is often brushed off with the phrase, “I need this for self-care.” However, the financial strain and emotional stress tied to these habits can cloud the meaning behind self-care practices. Self-care is not just another obligation or appointment you feel you have to keep. It’s not a luxury reserved for those with extra money to spend. Instead, it is a natural resource that we all have the right to access. It should uplift you, not make you feel inadequate or like you are failing.
How do I practice self-care when I feel like I can barely manage what’s already on my plate?
The purpose of self-care is to help ground you and prevent burnout, which means that activities that add more stress aren’t right for you at the moment. As a new single mom, I was not able to commit to leaving my child for a 60-minute intense workout at my local gym. Even though I wanted that to be my self-care routine, it was not realistic nor what I needed in that season of my life. Instead, taking my infant on walks provided the perfect blend of exercise and became an essential part of my self-care practice.
Self-care should not be viewed as an all-or-nothing approach; rather, it consists of the small daily habits or rituals that can make the most significant difference. Here’s a list of simple self-care practices that you can begin today
Use kind words when speaking to yourself: The words we say to ourselves matter. Speak to yourself with the same compassion you would to a friend or family member. Instead of “I should have done…” or “I’m not ____ enough”, say “I showed up today” or “I did my best”.
Be present: In this fast-paced life, it is easy to be thinking about the next task. Give yourself permission to be present in each moment. Remind yourself that you have nowhere else to be in the present moment, so you can be more engaged, focused, and productive.
Practice mindfulness: Engage in mindfulness practices like meditation, deep breathing, or yoga. These techniques will help build the muscle to be more present, center your thoughts, and bring you peace.
Prioritize sleep: Having proper sleep hygiene can improve mental clarity, energy and performance, as well as mood.
Move your body: Whether you like to dance, walk, hike, cycle, etc. – move your body daily in a way that you enjoy.
Change up your environment: Get out of your house or office daily to change your scenery. This helps shift your mindset, inspire new ideas, and reduce feelings of stagnation.
Find a hobby: Discover activities that bring you joy to promote self-expression, self-mastery, purpose, and belonging. Painting, reading, gardening, sports, or gaming are great examples.
Stay connected with others: Spend time with loved ones. If you don’t have a social network, get out and interact with the cashier at the grocery store or your local barista. When it comes to social interactions, it is about the quality not the quantity. Positive social interactions are the key to longevity.
Set Boundaries: Learn to say no when necessary. Protect your time and energy by setting boundaries in your personal and professional life.
Seek professional help: Therapy can provide valuable tools for managing stress and improving self-care. Seeking therapy is a gift to yourself as you learn more about your unique needs. The most important aspect of self-care is to establish a routine, where you are consistently incorporating the practices that are nourishing your mind, body and soul.
Self-care is a personal journey that is unique to everyone. It should meet the needs of who you are today. Remember, taking time for yourself is not selfish; it’s a necessary investment in your health and happiness. These wellness practices contribute to how you show compassion to yourself, nurture your own needs, and restore from periods of stress and burnout