Back to School Anxiety

As summer draws to an end, many parents and children are anticipating the start of the new school year. For some, this may mean getting back into familiar routines, for others this may represent new beginnings, with little ones starting kindergarten, bigger ones (still little to us) moving onto high school or maybe even university, and all the transitions in between. These changes can bring up many emotions: anticipation, excitement, sadness, apprehension, guilt, to name but a few.

Questions might be racing through your mind, “will they be okay without me?”, “I hope they make friends”, “will their grades be okay this year?”, “what if they fall in with the same group again”, “he will be so upset if he doesn’t make the team this year”. As parents, we naturally have these thoughts, however, these concerns can feel amplified when they are coming from the child themselves. Maybe you have noticed your child frequently seeks reassurance about the new school year, what class will they be in, will they be with their friends or have that certain teacher they like. Maybe you’ve noticed your child has become more irritable or impatient as the new school year approaches. Maybe you’ve noticed your child has an increase in somatic complaints, headaches, difficulty sleeping, or feelings of nausea. These can all be indications of anxiety about the upcoming transition back to school.

What Can Help?

Start The Back-To-School Routine Early

Getting into the pattern of the school day routine before the first week can be helpful with the transition. Gradual adjustments to bedtimes, wake times and the morning routine can help provide a sense of stability and predictability, making the transition feel a little more gentle and less overwhelming.

Talking With Your Child

Whether it is chatting with your future JK about what school will be like or supporting your teen through the transition to high school, engaging your children in conversation about the upcoming school year can provide an opportunity for them to express their concerns. With older children, using open questions such as, “back to school is coming up, how have you been feeling about the new school year” can provide more space for conversation when compared to closed questions, such as “are you excited for school”. Closed questions tend to invite more YES/NO responses, whereas open questions invite more depth.

With younger children, making the back-to-school discussion into a playful game can be helpful. For example, I might say to my SK, “what’s three things you feel super excited about with starting school”….then, “wow, those are exciting! How about we try three things you have questions about?” and see where that discussion goes.

Focus On What Is Within The Child’s Control

Anxiety thrives on uncertainty, so shifting attention to aspects that are within your child’s control can help relieve this. We might not know who the child’s teacher will be, or which friends will be in their class, but for little kids, giving them lots of choices can be helpful. For example, “what would be exciting for you to have in your lunch on your first day?”, or “would you like to ride your scooter or your bike?”. Some things are outside of our decisions but giving them these little choices can help build a sense of control. For older kids, this may look more like preparation, for example, deciding what they want to wear, pre-packing their bag, or arranging to meet up with a friend to walk to school with.

Practising Coping Skills

If your child is feeling a lot of nerves about heading back to school, practising coping tools with them before the transition may be helpful. For example, journalling, role playing potential communication with difficult peers, listening to relaxing music, researching helpful resources, or setting them up with a plan for what to do if they do become overwhelmed at school can provide reassurance and reduce feelings of apprehension.

If anxiety is becoming problematic for you or your child, you don’t need to navigate this alone. Seeking professional support with a therapist who understands anxiety can be a helpful next step.