Emotional Regulation and Why It Is Important

Emotional Regulation and Why It Is Important
Have you ever said something, only to regret it immediately afterward? Or have you ever felt so
angry that it feels overwhelming, and you lose all ability to think about or do anything else?

These are common examples of emotional dysregulation. Dysregulation occurs when your
nervous system becomes overwhelmed with emotion. In these moments of emotional saturation,
we might act in ways that we later regret, making impulsive decisions, shutting down, or saying
things we don’t mean.

Today, we will discuss what emotional regulation looks like and how dysregulation can
negatively impact an individual's life and damage their relationships. Emotional regulation is a
crucial skill in supporting positive mental wellbeing and overall health.

What Is Emotional Regulation?
Emotional regulation is the ability to manage emotions in a healthy way. It involves recognizing
and understanding feelings, and modifying reactions. Emotional regulation is a skill that can be
developed through self-awareness and psychoeducation. For children, this often looks like
having their emotions validated or observing caregivers remaining calm in stressful situations.
Both in childhood and adulthood, being around emotionally regulated individuals helps to
stabilize our nervous system.

In times of distress, emotional regulation can involve reframing thoughts, implementing
mindfulness techniques, and maintaining self-compassion through the process.

How Can Emotional Dysregulation Be Harmful?

Damage Relationships

• Impulsive reactions, explosive arguments, and defensiveness are some ways that
  emotional dysregulation can harm relationships. These patterns can lead to
  individuals feeling exhausted, unsafe, and unheard.
  

Physical Health Problems

• When we are emotionally dysregulated, our bodies are in fight-or-flight. This
  state of a high-alert nervous system can impact sleep, cause physical pain, and
  weaken the immune system.

Low Self-Esteem

• When we act impulsively and say or do things we later regret, feelings of guilt,
  shame, and self-criticism often follow.

Increased Stress

• The negative feelings that follow emotionally dysregulated behaviours can
  increase stress and anxiety in individuals. Ruptures in relationships and physical
  health problems can create a cycle that enables emotional dysregulation.
  

What Are the Benefits of Emotional Regulation?

Reduced stress and Anxiety

• A regulated nervous system calms the body and mind, allowing for increased
  tolerance for stressful situations and uncertainty. Additionally, emotional
  regulation can prevent the cycle of repetitive negative thinking that can lead to
  stress and anxiety.
  

Healthier relationships

• When our emotions are regulated, we are able to act consciously in moments of
  overwhelm and conflict. This, in turn, benefits our relationships.
  

Improved health

• Lower cortisol levels, improved sleep, and reduced stress are all things that both
  result from emotional regulation and improve overall health and wellbeing.
  

Better decision-making

• When experiencing intense emotions, the ability to recognize, understand, and
  respond to them appropriately allows for more logical and healthy choices.
  

Small Steps That Can Lead to Emotional Regulation
Now that we have covered what emotional regulation is and its benefits, let’s consider practical
ways to develop this skill. Emotions are a part of the natural human experience, and regulating
them can take time and patience, but the benefits of emotional regulation are well worth the
effort.

• Self-awareness: Self-reflection and compassion are critical when learning to emotionally
  regulate. Identifying emotions and how they make you feel is the first step in managing
  them.

• Mindfulness: Slowing down can allow for conscious decisions and behaviours. For
  example, stepping away during an argument and returning to the conversation when each
  individual is calm. Additionally, taking 3-5 breaths before responding in an emotionally
  intense situation or taking a moment to focus on your senses.

• Practice: As stated earlier, emotional regulation is a skill; the more it is practiced, the
  more automatic and efficient it becomes.
  

It is human to have moments of dysregulation, but the ability to implement self-regulation
strategies enhances overall mental wellbeing and quality of interpersonal relationships.