Growing Together: What Therapists Learn from Their Clients

The therapeutic alliance is a special relationship that involves mutual respect and a great deal of empathy. Therapy works best with the therapist displays unconditional positive regard for the
client, demonstrating that they accept the client and do not judge them based on their words,
actions or feelings. Therapy is also most effective when it is client-focused, directed at what is
most practical and best for the client, and incorporates the client’s culture and values into each
goal and intervention. When the alliance is strong, both the client and the therapist gain a sense
of accomplishment when progress is made. It is expected that clients can benefit from therapy
to improve their life and affect, however, the therapist can also grow personally through their
interactions with clients.

Feedback
Together, the therapist and client agree upon techniques and tools to use with the goal of
bettering a specific challenge. When the client brings their feedback to the session and shares
whether interventions were helpful or not, they are helping the therapist to learn to adapt
techniques better based on client needs, resources and preferences, which in turn can benefit
future suggestions and also other clients. Observing what helps the client cope with difficult
emotions is extremely useful information and it is appreciated each and every time it is shared
with honesty. Any negative feedback can also help the therapist to become more self-aware,
regular their own emotions better, and adjust their approach.

Inspirational Stories

When clients trust the therapist enough to fully open up, their stories are full of lessons and
contain so much hope, courage, and the overcoming of adversities. Hearing what a client has
gone through, where that has led them, and where they plan to go next can influence the
therapist and influence their worldview. The diverse experiences of clients help the therapist to
understand different backgrounds, life stages, social contexts and see the world and situations
from new perspectives.

At times, the therapist can see some of themselves in the client and their experiences. A client
may be facing challenges that are familiar to the therapist, or that they may be going through
themselves. Inadvertently, finding solutions and ways to mitigate the challenges for the client
may benefit the therapist as well, and help them reflect on changes they can make in their own
life. Seeing the wounds in others helps the therapist to reflect on their own, and evaluate how
effective or ineffective certain coping mechanisms have been for themselves. The client may
also teach the therapist to look beyond rigid definitions that they may hold in relation to mental
health, as they come to know the individual expression of the client and what feels right to
them.

Shared Humanity
The therapeutic alliance allows for a sense of shared humanity. We all crave to feel safe and
understood, and desire to know that we are not facing our challenges alone. Through the
alliance, both parties can give a sense of normalcy to shared experiences, which can provide
validation and deeper, more compassionate connection.