When Anger Sits

Anger is a natural emotion for individuals to have when events occur. It could be due to frustration, unfairness, or even a response to a perceived threat. The primary reason we get angry is to shield us from physical or emotional hurt. It is a protective factor humans use in response to whatever the threat may be. Everyone has a different tolerance for hurt, and reactions will vary as well. There are many valid reasons that anger occurs and comes with many physiological sensations such as tensing our bodies, increasing our heart rates, and including a burst of adrenaline. There is a place for anger. What there shouldn’t be a place for is prolonged anger that affects our mental health.

Anger could be masking emotions. There may be underlying feelings such as shame, fear, hurt, or powerlessness. Anger could just be a protective shield covering deeper, more vulnerable feelings. Abandonment, dismissal, and feeling unloved could all be deep-rooted feelings of rejection that lead to the hurt. Anger may be a defensive reaction when our minds are trying to protect ourselves in situations where we feel devalued, ignored, or criticized. These are also normal reactions for humans to have in certain situations experienced in our lives. In fact, the vast majority of us are going to experience many of the emotions listed previously at some point in our lives. Keeping in mind the normalcy of anger and the reasons for it may help keep us grounded and aware that there are solutions and ways to deal with it. What could happen, however, is that when we don’t deal with anger and the anger sits, we could be faced with many consequences.

There are mental health risks when anger sits, but we must not overlook physical repercussions as well. Chronic, unresolved, or suppressed anger can cause damage to our physical health. Our immune systems can be weakened, which contributes to increased infection and illness. Our minds can be impacted in judgment, reasoning, and memory as our cognition declines. More severely, we can experience cardiovascular strain, increasing the risk of heart attacks and strokes. Further, chronic inflammation can lead to depression.

Depression is a reality for many people trying to cope with life hardships. Those who have anger due to underlying suppressed emotions are at risk of hurting themselves both mentally and physically if unaddressed.

If you feel angry, ask yourself if this is due to a recent experience that invoked the initial response, or if the anger is deeper rooted and accompanied by sudden bursts of emotion and rage. It isn’t always easy to recognize where our anger comes from in heated moments. Is the anger a response to grief or sadness, shame, or powerlessness? This could signal a deeper emotional response than just one to fear or being threatened in the moment.

Keeping ourselves mentally and physically healthy can help alleviate some of our deep-rooted anger. Proven techniques to work through hidden anger include nature walks, exercise, meditation, and mindful stretching. When bursts of rage occur, it would be helpful to ask ourselves how we are actually feeling in the moment, and why.

Therapy can be a very powerful ally if these are experiences that sound familiar to you. An ally can support you, listen to your needs, and share the weight of your challenges. Your therapist will listen without judgement, support your decisions and your journey, and work with you in an honest environment. Cognitive behavioural techniques like cognitive reframing can help by challenging your interpretation of an event. There are often other ways to look at a situation that perhaps we did not think of or are hard to come to mind when we are quick to react to situations. Taking a step back and looking at other options may help reduce the mental and physical responses we initially have.

Over time, and with support, anger issues can be addressed and worked through. When Anger sits, there could be severe consequences, and we deserve to be free of suppressed and masked emotions.