Redefining Success and Finding the Motivation to Change

Individuals often know what it is they have to do to better their present circumstances,
and they know what needs to change. However, resistance and low motivation can occur when they try to implement changes. Keeping change consistent can be equally difficult. This is where a therapist can help you explore what is holding you back and together, can devise a plan that sets you up for success and holds you accountable for your efforts. The therapist is there to encourage and support you, and to notice positive changes that are occurring session after session. Any small progress is still progress and should be acknowledged and celebrated in a way that best suits you. What is most important is the difference between the “you of yesterday” and the “you of today,” and that growth is completely individual.

Often, taking action consistently is needed before motivational feelings come. Taking the
first step in making a change can be the hardest, and just getting started requires intentional courage. In the beginning of working with a therapist, it is important to imagine what it will look like and feel like when the present challenges are less consuming. Often, we find ourselves pursuing and doing what we think is expected of us, instead of what is meaningful and energizing to us. As a result, we feel burnt out, unmotivated, and lacking in the small things that bring us joy. Going within and asking yourself what you really want to see in your life, and how you really want to feel on a daily basis, will help get the ball rolling in making positive changes.

Asking the core part of your self what success looks like for you may be different than
what is considered success by others. Recognizing what feels right to you at your core is an achievement in itself. External and internal motivation will be different from person to person. For someone who is neurodivergent, it may be necessary to set up cues, plans and reminders to complete necessary tasks. Sufficient breaks, rewarding activities and self-care can be built into each day, even in small increments. Understanding why you have set a goal and finding the internal drive can go a long way in making improvements. Every step you take in the right direction is closer to your goal, and it is important to avoid giving up when you go off track. The therapist can help you in this regard, teaching you the skills to recognize when you’re struggling, and help you respond with “What can I try next?” rather than feeling stuck.

Compassion for yourself can go a long way in realizing that setbacks are normal,
expected, and provide information regarding where to go next. When a situation in your life continually brings up a sense of resistance, a different approach or way of viewing it may be needed. Talking to yourself as a friend, allowing situations and feelings to come without judgement and tracking small wins are ways to we can honour ourselves. Over time, you will notice yourself bouncing back from setbacks faster and motivation will start to feel more natural.