When You Know What to Do but Can’t Get Started
The email needs a response. That assignment just needs a review before submitting. The laundry needs to be put in the dryer. The chip crumbs on the ground need to be vacuumed.
You know what you need to do.
And still, you’re not able to do it.
Maybe you have been thinking about the task for the last 5 hours and kept saying to yourself, “I’ll start in five minutes,” several times. This can be extremely frustrating for some, especially when the task itself seems simple.
Why Can’t I Just Do It?
So, let’s ask the question: why?
Why aren’t we able to “just do it?”
For individuals with ADHD, the struggles that come with starting a task can be related to executive functioning. This refers to a group of skills that essentially help us plan, organize, remember information, manage our attention and focus on starting and completing that task.
One of these skills includes task initiation, which is related to us independently beginning a task that needs to be completed. Therefore, there is this push and pull: you know what needs to be done and understand the importance of it but still have the difficulty getting started. The difficulty is getting your brain to move from knowing to doing.
Why is Starting So Difficult?
It’s important to note that not every task is treated the same within the ADHD brain. For example, you may spend hours on a lighthearted hobby like crocheting, which you find exciting and enjoyable. But you may struggle with reading that article or doing laundry that feels more boring or repetitive. Tasks that feel too big or too long can also make it harder to start.
ADHD also has an emotional component. A task may bring up anxiety or fear, which can cause you to put off the task more and more. The longer you put something off, you may then feel guilt and shame when thinking about it, which creates another barrier to get started.
For example, maybe you have a presentation to prepare for, and you have underlying anxiety about presenting; therefore, you put it off until the last week. During the last week, you now are avoiding thinking about it because you feel guilt for not starting it in the beginning. Now, thinking about the presentation brings up both that anxiety and the guilt of putting it off, essentially adding to the difficulty of starting and completing the task.
When Pressure Becomes the Motivator
Now, this is where the pressure of that presentation would build up, and the sense of urgency will give your brain a reason to focus on starting.
For some, this urgency can make it easier to work on a task. While this can help get things done, waiting till the last minute to get a task done can cause stress and become exhausting.
Break the Task Down
It’s time to focus on what would make this task easier. If the goal is to clean the kitchen, maybe you can make it a smaller goal of place the dishes in the sink. If the goal is to start your assignment, maybe you can make it smaller, and it can become opening the document.
Breaking down the task can help give the brain clearer and more manageable tasks that it can begin with.
What if this doesn’t work?
There is no single strategy that will work for every individual with ADHD. The goal is to experiment with all different styles of support and notice which ones make things a little bit easier. Therapy can be extremely beneficial for ADHD support, it can help with executive functioning, building strategies, emotional regulation, and overall support.
You are not Lazy.
It’s understandable why you might find yourself being critical of yourself in moments of struggle. However, it’s important to know that understanding this side of ADHD can give us another way to understand what may be getting in the way.
Next time you find yourself thinking “I’m so lazy, why can’t I just do it,” try asking “what is making it hard for me to start?”
This can help move away from self-criticism and toward understanding what we need to take the first step.
