The Impact of Social Media: Comparison and Self-Criticism

Are you in your 20s and comparing yourself to what others your age have achieved?
Do you find yourself scrolling on Instagram, only to close the app feeling like everyone has it figured out but you?
Do you compare yourself to a version of yourself that you think you should have become by now?
They say that comparison is the thief of joy, but how do our expectations impact our mental health when we are constantly comparing ourselves to others?

It Is Okay Not Always to Have a Plan

It may seem like others have their lives way more figured out. You might be unsure about several things. What do I want to do professionally? When will I have the money to travel? And where would I even want to go?

Uncertainty can manifest as anxiety when the unknown feels threatening. Catastrophic or all-or-nothing assumptions about the future can make this uncertainty even more overwhelming and uncomfortable.

With social media being such a large part of many of our daily lives, constant exposure to milestones, achievements, and positive updates can make it feel like everyone else is on a clear path forward.

The truth is, we rarely see the full picture. Behind these posts that show engagements, graduations, and large social gatherings are often years of learning, adversity, and self-discovery. Social media is a highlight reel that shares only the best, most aesthetic, and most flourishing areas of someone's life.

Moving at your own pace is fast enough, and your journey does not need to resemble anyone else's.

What You Can Do

Challenge Comparison Thoughts

• Remind yourself that comparison can undermine gratitude, and most of the time, what you are comparing with is not the full picture.

• You may implement cognitive restructuring techniques to reframe unhelpful thoughts into more adaptive ones.

• "That girl from high school had 40 people at her birthday party; I
  have no friends" → "I may not have 40 friends, but I am so grateful for
  the 2 close friends that I do have, who are there for me no matter
  what."

Practise Self-Compassion

• Comparison can feel like criticism when it turns into judgement and questioning of our worth.

• To practise self-compassion, remind yourself that everyone is on their own journey, social media is a highlight reel, and your pace is enough.

• It can be helpful to shift perspectives from “I wish I were where they are” to “I am proud of where I am, and I am eager to continue growing”.

Shift Your Focus to the Present.

• Don’t forget to enjoy the journey, the little things in life, the moments of connection, small wins, and everyday experiences. When we become consumed by the end goal, we can forget to enjoy the journey that brought us there. The majority of life is the mundane of everyday experiences; don’t forget to enjoy the small moments.

• If you are noticing that self-criticism and comparison are coming up for you consistently, taking a break from social media can help to ground you and shift your focus from what you ‘can’ or ‘should’ be doing, to what you are doing.

• Mindfulness exercises can be implemented to ground yourself and focus on being present. Consistently incorporating grounding exercises, such as the 5-4-3-2-1 technique into your routine, can help to make mindfulness a habit.

5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique

Think of:
5 things you can see
4 things you can hear
3 things you can smell
2 things you can feel
1 thing you can taste

Ultimately, social media has become part of many people's daily lives. It can be used as a tool for connection, but it can also be used as a means for comparison and self-criticism. Being aware of how we receive and interact with online information can help identify unhelpful thoughts before they begin to impact our mental state, create healthier boundaries, and develop stronger habits that support our overall wellbeing.