Watching children grow up can often bring about a variety of emotions for parents and caregivers. These emotions can include pride in their children’s accomplishments, anxiety for their future circumstances, feelings of sadness and grief as their younger years fade away, as well as mixed emotions surrounding their gaining of independence.

Richard Linklater’s 2014 film Boyhood captures these truths in a remarkable, unique way: the director literally took 12 years to film the movie, as the cast and crew returned each year for a few weeks at a time to showcase the real-time aging of the performers. The final product was a rare glimpse into life as it unfolds for many people: quiet, ordinary moments of mundane day-to-day happenings sprinkled with major milestones that shape a white, middle-class, suburban family throughout the years.

As we explore the film and the concept of cinematherapy, it’s important to keep in mind that the film operates from a relative place of privilege. The narratives and themes are specific to the space, place, and time-bound culture of its characters and creators.

What is Cinematherapy?

Cinematherapy is the intentional practice of using the emotional power of films to critically reflect on one’s life. Parents, caregivers, and children can make the experience of watching movies more meaningful than sheer entertainment by attempting to find content that is applicable to their lives through thoughtfully observing the characters’ motivations and actions. For those interested in using movies as educational and inspirational gateways, viewers can explore their own creativity and discover insights about personal experiences, relationships, and family dynamics.

Questions to ask yourself could include:

What comes to mind about yourself and others as you watch the movie?
How similar or different is the film’s plot from your lived experience?
Do you notice any patterns, reactions, or strong feelings that resonate?
Are there any bodily sensations during specific scenes that come up for you?

When engaging in cinematherapy, you may also want to consider key themes such as past or present family experiences and current or former friendships and romantic connections. Take note of any characters you strongly admire or dislike. Also, consider whether the film reminds you of past events or evoked any specific memories or images.

Now, let’s briefly examine the movie Boyhood to see what insights we can discover about growth, resilience, and the nuances of life.

The Evans Family

Olivia is a mother balancing the demands of single parenthood and her own career ambitions. Her ex-husband, Mason Sr., is a free-spirited father with artistic dreams, trying to stay intellectually and emotionally connected to his children. Together they raise Samantha and Mason while navigating the challenges of a post-divorce family life full of ups and downs in Texas.

Life isn’t perfect. Arguments happen, relationships end, and moves are frequent. But it’s in the ordinary moments—family dinners, road trips, birthday celebrations—that the family finds deep, meaningful connection. The film does an excellent job at showing that life isn’t just a series of milestones and boxes to check. Rather, it’s a constantly evolving journey full of immense joy, heartbreak, triumphs, and setbacks. Cinematherapy encourages viewers to pause and reflect on these dynamics.

Olivia: An Empty Nest

A powerful theme throughout is Olivia’s transition to an empty nest. As Mason leaves for college, Olivia faces a loss of purpose and an existential crisis. She traverses through the depths of despair, and experiences intense sadness, guilt, grief, and even a sense of ambiguous loss. Her role as primary caregiver has shifted, and she wrestles with the fear that all of life’s major milestones might just be behind her.

Here, cinematherapy can help parents process these types of thoughts and feelings. By observing Olivia’s journey, caregivers can consider how they navigate and cope with their own life transitions. Cinematherapy can help with identifying sources of stress and encourage creative thinking to uncover new ways of finding meaning and contentment.

Mason’s Journey: A Search for Identity

Mason’s coming-of-age voyage is the centerpiece of the film. He navigates his own identity, experiences evolving independence, and learns about himself and others through numerous types of relationships. He learns from his parents’ perceived successes and failures, begins to form an accurate perception of his strengths, skills and abilities, and better comprehends his own unique weaknesses or growing edges. Perhaps most importantly, he begins to see his father as a human being, not just a hero.

For many young people and their caregivers, watching movies such as Boyhood reinforces the normalization of complex emotions, assists the exploration of adolescent self-identity, and strengthens one’s capacity to define growth and resilience on their own terms.

Mason Sr.: The Cool Dad

Mason Sr. has quite a distinctive role in the Evans family. He is both an insider and an outsider in many ways. In the film, he exists somewhat on the periphery as he balances his own inward struggles with the outward responsibilities of remarriage and a second family while remaining emotionally available to Mason and Samantha. Mason Sr.’s role evolves steadily from a less reliable father to a more stable, involved one—and the bond with his children improves significantly over time. The movie highlights how co-parenting can realistically work and presents a peek into some of the ways parents can support their children during life transitions.

Lessons for Families

Boyhood offers many practical takeaways for families:

Change is inevitable, and personal growth can come from accepting it.
Family life is messy, dynamic, and full of awkward and difficult events.
Relationship roles shift, and mental flexibility helps maintain connections.
Ordinary moments are often the moments that create lasting bonds.
Parenting means guiding and supporting, while allowing for independence.
Life is nonlinear, and milestones are not the only measure of a meaningful journey.

Witnessing children grow up is a mix of joy, grief, and hope. When viewed reflexively and with intention, movies provide families with numerous conversation starters and can serve as mirrors to universal truths about the human condition. Through purposeful, mindful reflection, audiences can glean lessons to enhance self-awareness and strengthen relationships.

Try Cinematherapy Yourself

Are you feeling inspired by this blog post? Pick a movie that resonates with your current life stage or family situation. Watch it mindfully. Notice what emotions arise and which relationship dynamics feel familiar. Take any insights you can and apply them to your own life. Generally speaking, cinematherapy is an accessible, creative, and engaging way to explore personal and relational growth—one scene at a time.

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