Do you often hold the title of “mom” in the friend group? Are you the fixer of social circles, the one that everyone comes to for advice and to vent about their problems?

Your friends and family are most likely drawn to your natural tendency to nurture, listen to and care about their emotions. This emotional intuition and openness are likely traits that have been with you all your life, or at least developed from a time where you learned you enjoy, excel at, or needed to take on a caretaker role. Today, this means you may be an empath.

The term “empath” is derived from empathy, which means feeling with someone, as opposed to sympathy we feel towards others. For example, attempting to put yourself in someone’s shoes or recalling a similar experience to understand their struggle is a more empathic response than, “I’m sorry that happened to you”. Empathy allows for deeper connection, communication and trust building in relationships, and can help create a safe space for vulnerability and the validation of someone’s experience.

Being an empath takes empathy one step further by feeling others’ emotions as their own, often absorbing them subconsciously. They can take on the physical feeling of another person’s emotions to offer support, often by picking up on body language and small cues. Empaths have been given the profound gift of deep connection with their loved ones, and some even are called by their emotional power to pursue careers in helping and healing, such as healthcare, education, or counselling.

Although the role of an empath can be rewarding and emotionally rich, it can be overwhelming at times, and it also puts the person at risk of taking on responsibility for the emotions of others. It is important to create and sustain emotional boundaries with friends and family, especially if you struggle to separate your emotional energy from those around you. Self-preservation is crucial in healthy relationships to prevent emotional burnout, as you cannot be there for loved ones if you do not take care of yourself.

Tips to set emotional boundaries:

1) Practice self care and self-attunement: Paying attention to your physical and emotional cues help your brain recognize when you’re overwhelmed. Remind yourself of your identity through affirmations, taking part in hobbies, or talking to a trusted loved one.

2) Change your mindset: Distinguishing your emotions from others can be a challenge if you are not giving yourself permission to prioritize your emotional health and wellness. Remember you are allowed to take up space and visualize setting the boundary to build confidence.

3) Enforce consequences if boundaries are crossed: It can be difficult to keep consistent boundaries, especially with family and friends, so creating consequences can help both parties accountable and reduce your guilt when saying no.

Learning to set boundaries as an empath isn’t about caring less, it’s about learning new ways to protect yourself and function in a world that is emotionally complicated. It is important to make intentional choices when claiming one’s role as an empath, as these feelings we carry are not always ours to begin with, and we must be careful not to take on too much.

The weight of empathy sometimes never leaves, and it can feel discouraging or overwhelming when the label of “sensitive” is attached to an empath in a negative context. Society has consistently framed emotional sensitivity and vulnerability as a weakness, but this is what allows us to deepen and strengthen our connections! The term “empath” helps to reframe empathy as a strength, and helps move society to recognize emotional intelligence as a necessary human trait rather than something to overcome.

“Empath” is not a diagnosis nor makes you responsible for taking on the load of others’ emotions, but can help you recognize your strengths in relationships. It can be the greatest blessing, but also feel like a burden at times, so it is important to reach out for support and resources available to help you understand and harness your superpower!

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