The final — and without a doubt most meaningful — step in completing my Master of Arts in Counselling Psychology was an eight-month practicum here at Fancy Therapy. During this time, I’ve had the privilege of working with a diverse caseload of clients and presenting concerns. A key focus of my work has been supporting mothers at all stages of their motherhood journey.

Although my role over these months was that of a therapist, the experience was deeply reciprocal; I was constantly learning from my clients. This post is a reflection on three of the most important lessons they’ve taught me — lessons that will stay with me far beyond practicum.

Lesson 1: The mental load is real – and it’s exhausting

As a mother myself, I am deeply familiar with the mental load mothers carry and the toll it can take. Conversations about the mental load — the invisible work of anticipating, organizing, and holding everyone else’s needs in mind — came up frequently in my work with mothers.

What struck me most was how often this labour went unacknowledged, even by the mothers themselves. Many assumed it was simply part of the job, even as it left them feeling depleted, resentful, or disconnected from their own needs and desires. I saw how the weight of this invisible work often led to burnout — not because these women were doing anything wrong, but because they were carrying too much for too long without enough support.

Therapy became a space where this burden could be named and validated. Sometimes that alone brought relief. Other times, it opened the door to deeper conversations about boundaries, equity in partnerships, and the internalized messages that tell mothers their worth is measured by how much they do for others.

You’re not failing. You’re carrying too much — often silently.

Lesson 2: Mothers carry more than their own stories

Becoming a parent often leads to a period of self-reflection about how we were raised and what we want to do differently with our own children. Many of the mothers I worked with were not only navigating the day-to-day demands of parenting but also coming to terms with their own histories — experiences that included attachment wounds, cultural expectations, and generational patterns that hadn’t yet been examined.

Parenting often brought these stories to the surface. Old feelings of not being good enough, of needing to earn love through perfection, or of staying quiet to avoid conflict would show up in subtle and not-so-subtle ways. These patterns didn’t disappear just because someone had grown up or become a parent. Instead, they shaped how my clients saw themselves and how they related to their children.

In therapy, we explored where these patterns came from, how they were reinforced over time, and how they were playing out in the present. We looked at the beliefs my clients had absorbed — about motherhood, worth, and identity — and began to ask whether those beliefs were truly theirs or simply what they had been taught to carry. This wasn’t about blame but about making space for understanding and self- compassion.

Time and again, I was struck by the bravery it takes to do this kind of inner work while also caring for others. Healing isn’t selfish — it’s part of what helps you parent more intentionally and compassionately.

Lesson 3: Connection is everything

Motherhood can be a paradox in many ways. One that came up a lot with clients was that motherhood is portrayed as being a time of overwhelming happiness, satisfaction, and gratitude, but instead it often feels like isolation, loneliness, and burnout — even when surrounded by people. It’s okay to have and to name these feelings, but that doesn’t always feel safe. In therapy, it is.

Week after week, I witnessed what can happen when someone is met with warmth, presence, and non-judgment. Therapy became a place where mothers could take off the mask and say, “I’m not okay,” without fear of being dismissed or misunderstood. That kind of connection — authentic, attuned, and consistent — can be a powerful force for healing.

What I’ve learned is that so much of therapy isn’t about fixing problems or offering quick solutions. It’s about creating a space where someone feels safe enough to explore what’s really going on beneath the surface. Many of my clients didn’t need advice; they needed to feel understood. They needed someone to reflect their experience back to them with care and curiosity, and to remind them that they weren’t alone.

But being with a client isn’t passive. The work we did together often involved gently slowing down and making room for the different parts of them that were holding pain, pressure, or self-criticism. With time, those parts began to feel heard and held in a new way. And that created the possibility for something different: a stronger sense of self, more clarity around needs and limits, and a deeper capacity to show up with presence in their relationships — especially with their children.

When someone feels truly seen, something begins to shift. That sense of connection, often first felt in the therapy room, can help mothers begin to reconnect with themselves and the people they love. Presence heals. Feeling seen changes

Concluding with Gratitude

These past eight months have been a profoundly meaningful part of my journey as a therapist and as a mother. I’m so grateful to the women who shared their stories with me — honestly, vulnerably, and bravely — and allowed me to walk alongside them as they navigated the complex, emotional terrain of motherhood.

What I’ve learned through this work isn’t separate from what I know in my own life. Like many of the mothers I supported, I know what it feels like to carry too much, to question whether I’m doing enough, and to long for a greater sense of connection, both with myself and with those I love. My own experiences have shaped how I show up in the therapy room: with deep compassion, curiosity, and a belief in the power of being truly seen.

To every mother who finds herself overwhelmed, disconnected, or unsure of where to begin: you are not alone. You deserve support too. And it is possible to come home to yourself, even while carrying everything that motherhood asks of you.

Thank you to the clients who allowed me into their lives during this chapter. Your honesty, courage, and trust have shaped me in lasting ways, and I hold your stories with deep care.

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