Has there ever been a time where you noticed that a positive life change felt oddly heavy in your body and mind? Something such as starting a new career, moving into a new space, starting at a new school. These transitions can often be some of the most exciting times in our lives, but they can also stir up feelings of hesitancy, anxiety and even discomfort. If you’ve ever felt this mix of feelings during a new transition, just know you are not alone. Change, even the good kind, asks a lot of us sometimes.

Why Transitions Stir Up Big Feelings

As human beings, we are wired to seek safety in the familiar feelings. Our routines, habits, and environments are what create a sense of stability in our day to day. When something in our lives changes, whether it was something we planned or it happened unexpectedly, we lose the sense of predictability we are used to. Our brains respond with stress signals, even if the change is something we want.

Think about moving to a new city. You might feel thrilled about new opportunities you will experience, but at the same time you miss your favourite walking routes, your friends, or the comfort of knowing where everything is. That pull between excitement and worry is part of what makes transitions feel so intense.

Typical Emotional Reactions in Transitions

It is really common to feel different emotions when life takes a twist. Some of the most common reactions include:

Anxiety: Thinking and questioning, “What if this doesn’t work out the way I want it to?”
Sadness: The feeling of missing what used to be familiar to us.
Identity questions: Wondering what is coming next in this new role.

None of these feelings are a sign of weakness. They are simply signals that your body and mind need to adjust and recalibrate to this new environment.

Tools to Navigate Transitions

While we can’t eliminate the feeling of discomfort when we experience change, there are ways to make the process feel lighter and help us move through them easier:

Create a Routine Continue to keep one or two small routine items that always stay the same, no matter what may be changing. Maybe it’s making your morning coffee the same way your favourite coffee shop does, journaling before bed, or going for a walk at lunch with your dog. These familiar habits act as an anchor point when everything else feels out of line.
Naming the Mix of Feelings Change can sometimes bring on feelings of excitement, fear, worry, and uncertainty. If you are able to write down what you’re looking forward to and what feels overwhelming it can help you see the full picture. Recognizing this mixture of feelings can make it a bit easier to hold space for each one individually.
Lean Your Support System Change can feel less heavy when you don’t have to carry its weight alone. Whether it’s talking with some friends, connecting with people within your community, or reaching out to a therapist, sharing your experience helps lighten the load.
Practice Self-Compassion and Care Transitions can sometimes come with pressure to “have it all figured out”. Instead of criticizing yourself for feeling unsettled, try to treat and speak to yourself the way you would a close friend. Always remind yourself that it’s okay to feel this way and that adjusting takes time.
Celebrate the Small Victories When everything is changing and moving around us, it’s easy to overlook our progress. Take the time to sit back and to notice little wins along the way. For example, making it through your first week at a new job or decorating a room in your new space. Recognizing these small wins can help us see the positive momentum through these unknown times.

Gentle Reframing

One way to view transitions is not just as endings, but as opportunities for growth. While it may be true that change can often mean leaving something or someone behind, it also opens our world up for something new to take root and grow.

Think about the change in sessions, this can look a lot like transitions in our lives. At first, the weather feels unpredictable, really warm and sunny one day, cold and gloomy the next. Sooner or later, your body begins to adjust and suddenly the new season feels like the new normal. Change can feel uncomfortable at first, but with time our bodies learn to adapt.

The Path Forward

If you’re in the middle of a big life transition right now, take a deep breath. You don’t have to have it all figured out. It’s okay to feel uncertain, overwhelmed, or anxious. We now know that change can look and feel messy, but they are also the moments where we often grow the most.

Moment of reflection: What is a life transition you are experiencing right now? What is one small tool you can implement today to help you ease into this change?

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