Conversations about disability and neurodivergence are often separated into neat boxes. On one side, we talk about physical or chronic health conditions. On the other hand, we talk about autism, ADHD, dyslexia, or other forms of neurodivergence. But in real life, those boxes aren’t easily separated. Many people live at the crossroads of disability and neurodivergence. For those who identify with only one, the similarities in experiences, challenges, and strengths is hard to ignore.

At these intersections, mental health plays a huge role. The way that we understand ourselves, how other people and the environment respond to us, and how systems are (or aren’t) designed to support us can all impact our mental health.

Shared Challenges

There are some shared challenges that are likely to occur in the lives of those living with a disability, neurodivergence, or both.

Stigma and Stereotypes. Society often decides what people can or cannot do without ever asking. This constant underestimation, or the opposite, unrealistic expectations, can be draining and isolating.

Invisible Labour. Some daily considerations include how to get around access barriers, or, potentially, how to conceal certain traits to fit in (masking). Another is how to navigate the systems that were not designed for us to exist in. The energy that these efforts take is huge, and is often not noticed by others.

Ableism. It may come from the outside world, or perhaps is something that we have internalized, but ableism says that the goal is to be “less disabled” or “less different”. It is painful and unfair to carry such expectations.

Isolation. People experiencing these realities often describe experiencing profound loneliness. You may feel like no one really understands, or like you always have to justify your needs in order to be heard. These realities have consequences. Anxiety, depression, and burnout are not inevitable, but they are understandable when you are always being asked to adjust to a world that doesn’t adjust back.

Unique Experiences

Disability and neurodivergence also come with very unique challenges and experiences. For neurodivergent people, masking can be protective, but it is also exhausting. Coping with hidden challenges like executive functioning issues can result in struggles that others don’t see. For a lot of people, particularly women and gender-diverse folks, diagnosis occurs later in life, and they spend years wondering why things are so difficult, and why they are so different.

For people with disabilities or chronic illnesses, there can be an ongoing process of grief. Grief for lost function, grief for shifting independence, or grief for the version of life that once felt possible. Living with chronic pain or health concerns can change your physical world and your sense of identity and belonging. And for those who are both disabled and neurodivergent, the challenges may be even more complex. Managing pain and sensory sensitivities simultaneously is a significant challenge, as is trying to access healthcare that only sees one piece of your experience. The emotional impact of dealing with these gaps can take a toll on people’s mental health.

Strengths and Resilience

The challenges are significant, however, living with a disability, neurodivergence, or both, can also provide people with unique strengths and resilience.

Creative Problem-Solving. When the world isn’t designed for you, you learn to build your own. Making new systems, routines, and tools that work for you can make getting through each day a little bit easier. That kind of creativity and flexibility is a skill that many people may never have to develop.

Community and Connection. Strong and supportive communities that celebrate differences are incredibly impactful in the lives of disabled and neurodivergent people. The relationships can be very healing, and can offer validation and recognition in a way that many people need and may be missing out on.

The Role of Therapy

Therapy can play an important part in supporting disabled and neurodivergent folks. It can help to:

Unlearn shame. Challenging the idea of worth being tied to productivity, “normalcy”, or fitting into someone else’s standards. Therapy can help people to find more self-compassion and acceptance, and use less self-criticism.
Process grief. Allowing space for the complex emotions that come with disability, chronic illness, or a late diagnosis. The relief, the sadness, the anger, and the adjustment that follows.
Reclaim identity. To explore who you are outside of expectations or diagnostic labels, and to tell your story in a way that honours both the struggle and the strength.

Accessibility in therapy also matters! That might mean therapists offering more flexible scheduling, providing sensory-friendly spaces (lower lighting, fidget toys, movement breaks, etc.), or virtual sessions that remove transportation barriers. Most importantly, it means working with a therapist who is open to learning from you, rather than assuming they already know what’s best.

Disability- and neurodivergence-affirming therapy doesn’t pathologize difference or demand that someone fit into a mold. It meets people where they are with curiosity, care, and the understanding that everyone’s way of being is valid.

Living at the intersections of disability, neurodivergence, and mental health is incredibly complex. It comes with barriers, grief, and often exhaustion and burnout. It can also come with creativity, resilience, and a powerful sense of self.

If you see yourself reflected here, please know this: your experiences are real, your needs are valid, and you are not too much. You deserve care that sees and accepts all of you without question or condition

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