Do seemingly small tasks often feel overwhelming? Do you spend more time thinking about completing tasks than completing them? Do you dread deadlines and have trouble meeting them? Do you often feel lazy, unproductive, stuck or behind?

Executive dysfunction refers to challenges with the cognitive processes that help us manage various aspects of our lives. This makes it difficult to carry out tasks that involve planning, prioritizing, motivation, organization, problem-solving, focus and decision-making. Executive dysfunction is a common challenge for neurodivergent individuals.

The thought process involved to start and complete a seemingly simple task is often a lot more complex for someone with executive dysfunction. For example, you notice that the laundry basket is overflowing with clothes. You may think, “I should get out of bed and do the laundry. First, I need to put my phone away. My phone is running out of battery, so I need to plug it in. I should get out of bed and do the laundry. Once I get out of bed, I need to take off my pajamas. I should probably shower before changing into a new outfit. I should probably eat something before doing laundry. Do I have enough groceries to make breakfast? I should probably go grocery shopping. I should get out of bed and do the laundry. I need to get the detergent and fabric softener out of the closet. I should get out of bed and do the laundry. I should get out of bed and do laundry. I should get out of bed and do laundry!” This thought process can be overwhelming, which often results in avoidance to cope with the perceived overwhelm of completing the task.

Sociocultural schemas of productivity can be internalized in folks experiencing executive dysfunction, producing feelings of guilt and shame. In addition, executive dysfunction can even get in the way of completing hobbies and tasks that we want to do, which can be frustrating. As a result, individuals that struggle with executive dysfunction are more likely to struggle with anxiety, depression, low-self-esteem and negative self-talk.

How can I be compassionate towards myself when I am struggling with executive dysfunction?

What are the origins of my core beliefs of productivity? Executive dysfunction can make you feel unproductive, which can negatively impact your self-worth. When you feel this way, ask yourself, “what does it mean to be productive? How did I learn this standard of productivity? Who or what taught me that productivity defines my self-worth?” Self-reflection fosters a deeper understanding of yourself, which facilitates self-compassion.
Reframe negative self-talk Negative self-talk can often come from a place of frustration, shame or guilt. You may say to yourself, “I’m so lazy. What’s wrong with me? I’m a failure. I always mess things up. I’m pathetic.” These thoughts are often automatic and reinforce feelings of frustration, shame or guilt, making it more difficult to manage executive dysfunction. Try to challenge these thoughts and reframe them to be more realistic, balanced and compassionate! For example, the thought of, “I’m so lazy”, can be reframed to, “This feels hard right now, and I am learning how to manage tasks in a way that works for me”.
If possible, give yourself permission to not complete the task! We often place a lot of pressure on ourselves to complete a task, which makes completing it even more overwhelming. If you find yourself ruminating about a task that reasonably does not need to be completed immediately, give yourself permission to not do it! If you are feeling shameful about not getting up to do your laundry, give yourself the day off from doing laundry! Try re-directing yourself to other activities or tasks that feel more approachable! Also, you might notice it being easier to circle back to the initial task later once there’s less pressure associated with it!
Prioritize regulating yourself The overwhelm that comes with executive dysfunction often leaves us dysregulated. Ask yourself, “what am I needing right now?” Are you hungry? Grab a snack! Are you thirsty? Grab some water! Did you not get enough sleep? Take a nap! Are you overstimulated? Provide yourself with some slowness. Try putting away your phone, going for a walk, journalling, listening to instrumental music or meditating. Being emotionally and biologically regulated makes it easier for our brains to carry out executive functions!

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