Sense of Self and Self Esteem
What defines our sense of self? Have you ever thought about the aspects of yourself that truly make you who you are? We often associate our identity to the things we can observe on the surface; our appearance, our name, our age, sex and culture. But your identity is far deeper than that. Our identity includes our beliefs, our values, our memories, experiences and relationships. Identity is the essence of who we are, composed of many different elements that together define us. Having a strong sense of identity and self can greatly improve our self-esteem and serves as an anchor in where it’s easy to feel insecure and judged. Our sense of self is what aids us in making important decisions and mapping out the actions we take in our life.
Sometimes we struggle to navigate the challenges that appear in our lives, knowing your sense of self can make navigating these challenges easier. A strong sense of self will help you determine things as small as deciding what to have for lunch to more significant concepts like your personal values, morals, and philosophies. This helps to shape our actions to be authentic to who we are, when we aren’t always encouraged to do so. A strong sense of self makes it easier to accept your identity in its entirety. It provides us clarity, letting us see ourselves for who we truly are, guiding us to make choices that align with our desires and benefit our lives.
So how do we determine our sense of self? Where do we start? Start with the parts of your identity that you know. These can be the things that others around you might know about you as well, such as your appearance, your age, your gender, your culture and your interests. Then, when you’re ready, go a step deeper. Explore the parts of yourself that lay beneath the surface. This can include your beliefs, your values, your memories, experiences and relationships. Ask yourself how each component of your identity relates to one another, how they shape who you are, perhaps how they’ve influenced one another. This is when we begin to create a holistic sense of self and identity.
Determining your aspects of self isn’t easy, it takes time and you will probably re-visit each aspect you’ve explored multiple times. The answer sadly won't come to us after one try. However this is not to discourage you, each time you take a moment to understand your identity, you will begin to learn new things about yourself, the different aspects that make you, you, and you will begin to gain a clearer perspective on your sense of self. If you’re looking for a more structured and guided approach, try this:
1) On a sheet of paper, write down one aspect of your identity. This could be any aspect that comes to mind. For example, you could write “Animal Lover”.
2) Now beneath it, describe what this aspect of your identity means to you. For example, you could write “emotional support, sense of purpose, and companionship”. Do this a few times with different aspects of your identity.
3) Finally, rate how much each aspect of self pertains to your identity. You could use a scale from 1-10, where 1 means “least significant” and 10 means “most significant” As you go about this exercise you will find that not every aspect of your identity is equally significant to you.
Some parts of your identity will be far more significant than others, and it might even surprise you that some aspects hold more importance to you than you realize
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