Identity, can be a big word with a lot of meaning. So many aspects of our lives are shaped by the way the world perceives us and how we perceive it and ourselves. Identity encompasses various aspects in our lives. Things like race, gender, culture, and community play such an important role in the shaping of our individual identities.

Growing up as a mixed-race individual I never felt like I fit in or knew who I really was at my core. I realize that I am not the only one who has struggled to figure these things out. The older I get, the more I have come to understand that a person’s identity can be fluid. As you learn new things and have new experiences you gain different insights that influence who you are.

Learning about yourself and your personal identity is a continuous process. There can be times where you struggle and times where you are thriving in who you are as an individual. When those challenges or shifts occur within our identity it can feel threatening. It can make us question a lot of things we have done in our past and what we might do for our future and how we view ourselves in the present moment. And that’s perfectly okay, even though it can be scary at times.

It is important to approach these shifts with grace and see it as an opportunity for personal growth and discovery. There are many different things that prompt these shifts. As well as various ways to cope and eventually embrace what is to come.

Things that cause identity shifts

Life transitions: Such as moving to a new city, relationship status changes, illness, a loss of a loved one, cultural changes, and more.
Going through a traumatic event or healing from a traumatic event.
Aging.

Tips for coping when you are dealing with identity shifts

Don’t be afraid to explore the question of “who am I?”

o Exploration is such an important part of being human and healing the different parts of yourself. When going through different life transitions it is okay to ask questions and get a better understanding of where you are at in the present moment.

Self-care is key

o This seems to be one that is said a lot but there are many different forms of self-care and it is important to your overall well-being. For myself, I lean towards mindfulness, meditation, yoga, or cuddling my dogs. Everyone’s version of self-care is unique to them.

Get your thoughts and feelings down on paper

o This can tie in with the self-care piece as well. Journaling can be a great way to get any thoughts or feelings out regarding identity issues. You can also look back on it and see the changes you have made since you wrote it. It can be a good way to get your feelings out, especially if you are not in a place to feel comfortable enough to talk about it.

Understand that change is an important part of life and give yourself permission to change.

o Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on how you want to view it, change happens. Whether we like it or not. It can be scary at first but embracing it can bring about a lot of personal growth. This is still an important lesson I am learning as I embark on many different changes in my own life, like grad school and learning to take on this new role as a student therapist for example.

Having a solid support system

o Friends, family, and even colleagues, can be a source for support when facing identity shifts. Having a strong support system in place can be beneficial, as it gives you a chance to speak about it with someone who knows you and who you have a level of trust with. I know for me personally, I tend to lean on my friends. A therapist can also be a good source for support if you do not feel comfortable reaching out to friends or family.

Seek out therapy

o Having that non-judgmental space you can go to with these issues is so important. As a therapist it is our job to guide you through these shifts and help you explore the different parts of yourself in a way that helps promote healing and personal growth. It gives you a space to re-write your story and embrace these changes in a more positive light.

Closing Comments

Identity shifts are bound to happen throughout our lives as we learn and grow. Having others to lean on through these moments is important. Not everyone’s shifts are going to be the same but it is something that we all go through. Know that you are not alone in this journey and that there are many different ways that you can get through this.

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