Overcoming Perfectionism
Perfectionism is when you worry too much about doing something perfectly or not doing it at all. You may feel like you're always failing at things, even the things that you think are easy for you. If you're a perfectionistic, it can be really hard to tell yourself that your work actually looks good—you want other people to think it's good, so they'll notice what an amazing job you're doing!
Perfectionism places pressure to meet unattainable standards, it is a type of thinking that can cause you to feel like you're never good enough and that you need to be perfect in order to be happy. It often comes from an unhealthy focus on mistakes and imperfections. Perfectionism can greatly diminish self-esteem and enjoyment of life. Perfectionism can lead to mental health restraints of feeling burnt out, stressed, anxiety and/or be a factor of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).
The follwing are examples of of what perfectionism can look like:
You spend a lot of time and obsess trying to make everything perfect before you send it out due to fear of failure
You have trouble accepting compliments even when they are positive ones
You don't like the idea of messing up or making mistakes (even small ones)
There are three types of perfectionism. Personal standards perfectionism is healthy and motivates you to complete goals. Self-critical perfectionism can fester unwanted feelings and pressure. Lastly, socially prescribed perfectionism is what we seek in outside sources; such as social prescribed validation.
Overall, perfectionism can cause you to feel stuck and overwhelmed, especially if you don't have a clear path forward on how to overcome the problem. Its important to understand that there are some things that are worth worrying about—like getting a bad grade on a test or essay—and others that aren't.
So what can we do about perfectionism? The good news is, there are lots of ways to overcome your perfectionism and find peace with yourself! Overcoming perfectionism is not an easy task. It requires a lot of self-reflection, patience and discipline. You need to be able to keep yourself motivated and focused on what you are trying to achieve. You should set yourself goals that are realistic, but challenging enough that you will have trouble achieving them. This will help keep your mind focused on the task at hand and stop you from giving up too soon.
Here are five things you can do:
Be aware of your tendencies. Pause and pay attention to your thought patterns. Use different mechanisms that will help you understand these thoughts better. This can be as simple as speaking to your therapist and jotting things down.
Focus on positive things. Wanting everything to be perfect means that we tend to fixate on the negative parts of our work or ourselves. Try telling yourself three things that you appreciate about yourself.
Don't set yourself up for failure. Try your best to set attainable goals that you know that you can accomplish.
Try not to procrastinate. Putting off work because you want to do it perfectly can cause more stress in the long run. give yourself time and grace. You will surprise yourself how amazing you will do.
Lastly, speak to your therapist, by using different talk therapy methods. They will be able to guide you into a happy relationship with yourself and mind.