Top Five Misconceptions of Grief

Grief is a very strong emotion that can feel overwhelming at times. The American Psychological Association (2023) defines grief as the anguish experienced after a significant loss. There are many causes of grief which include, but are not limited to, the death of a loved one, death of a pet, loss of a friendship, loss of social connections, loss of a job, breakup, or divorce. Nearly everyone will experience grief at some time in their lives. Symptoms of grief include lack of interest or motivation, sleep disruption, fatigue, feelings of numbness, shock, fear, guilt, anxiety, changes in ability to deal with stress, changes in ability to focus, and changes in interpersonal relationships. You may have a few misconceptions about grief. The top five misconceptions about grief are...

1. Time heals everything. You may have heard someone say to you at some point in your life that time heals everything. This saying implies that over time grief will heal and go away. The idea that grief has an ending is a misconception. Grief does not have an endpoint, however, it evolves as the individual experiencing grief learns how to integrate it into their lives. Healing without a timeline will eliminate pressure and allow you to have patience with yourself.

2. Everyone grieves in stages. We have been taught that the five stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These stages imply that there is a natural progression of grief. The idea that everyone will grieve in the same stages is a misconception. Grief is unique to each person and there is no right or wrong way to grieve.

3. Grief is only experienced after a physical loss. When you think of grief, you probably think of a response to the death of a loved one. There are actually over a dozen different types of grief. For example, anticipatory grief is experienced if you’re expecting the loss of someone in the near future or collective grief is experienced when a tragedy affects a large group.

4. The goal is to get over grief. This is a misconception because the only way around grief is through it. You should not expect yourself to move on and try to return back to a normal life after a loss. Attempts to avoid feeling the pain of grief can lead to delayed grief and symptoms of depression. Over time as you process your feelings, you will learn to attain a healthy new normal while living with loss.

5. You need to cry to grieve. While some people may cry to express their emotions, it is also normal to feel these emotions without crying. Just because someone hasn’t cried doesn’t mean that they aren’t grieving. After an initial loss it is normal to experience shock and numbness.