In recent years, perfectionism has been on the rise, driven by societal pressures. It also seems that perfectionism is seen as a strong and attractive attribute to have. You may have even mentioned it as a strength in job interviews, suggesting that it can be leveraged to one's advantage. It can be overwhelming, creating a sense of failure when we fall short. So, what exactly is perfectionism?

Perfectionism is when you hold yourself to very rigid and unrealistic standards, expectations, and behaviours. When these standards are not met, it can lead to shame, self-blame, and frustration. Perfectionists also tend to experience negative self-thoughts, anxiety, and self-doubt. This can be towards other people or expectations you hold to yourself. Studies also show that perfectionists are more likely to get discouraged and give up on goals that they make due to being more self-critical of themselves.

Different types of Perfectionism:

Socially Prescribed Perfectionism often surfaces as a persistent need to look flawless to those around you. It's the kind of pressure where one feels they must embody the pinnacle of perfection, especially in the eyes of significant figures in their lives like parents, friends, or colleagues. While being a socially prescribed perfectionist, you may be driven by the expectations of others which may lead you to feel that it’s at the expense of your own authenticity and well-being.

Self-oriented Perfectionism is driven by your own personal standards that demands flawless living. If you have this mindset, you may enforce extremely high expectations on yourself, striving for peak performance in all areas of your life. This internal pressure that you place on yourself can often lead to severe self-criticism, which can cause low self- esteem and happiness when you do not meet the unrealistic standards you placed.

Other-oriented Perfectionism arises when you apply your own overly high standards to others. This can lead to an overly critical attitude towards those who fall short of these rigorous expectations. Such demands can adversely impact personal relationships, including those with friends, family, and coworkers, often resulting in tension and conflict as they struggle under the weight of these pressures. So what can happen if you let perfectionism get too far? If unchecked, perfectionism can escalate to problematic levels with several adverse effects such as:

Overwhelming Pressure and Chronic Stress:

The relentless drive for perfection can create an unbearable pressure that persists until all you feel is that consistent pressure and stress. Left unchecked, the constant stress of trying to achieve the unachievable can decrease your mental peace and well-being. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to do well in your work; however, it must be maintained.

Heightened Worry and Anxiety: Worrying about imperfections can escalate into a state of heightened anxiety. In the pursuit of perfection, the anxiety of potentially not meeting your high standards can become a persistent whisper of doubt, making every task a source of stress instead of a step toward achievement.

Pervasive Hopelessness: When the bar is set impossibly high, it can lead to a deep sense of hopelessness. This continuous cycle of perceived failure can dim your spirits and lead to depression, clouding your view of life and self-worth.

These emotional and psychological effects serve as a stark reminder of the urgency to acknowledge and work through destructive perfectionistic behaviors. It’s essential to address these tendencies early to prevent them from developing into more serious mental health issues.

Here is what you can do:

Tackling perfectionism is a gentle process of recognizing the value in every one of your victories, no matter how big or small. It's also about redefining failure, seeing it not as a setback, but as a necessary part of the journey, an invitation to learn, and a stepping stone to developing your skills even further. Furthermore, developing realistic goals is a way to grow in your self-compassion. Break down your objectives into small, achievable tasks, and celebrate each step forward, understanding that consistent progress is so much more valuable than trying to be perfect.

Remember-progress not perfection. Perhaps most importantly, overcoming perfectionism means releasing the compulsion to measure your worth against others. Everyone is navigating their own unique story, filled with individual strengths and personal battles. By comparing your progress to others, you risk your own life's narrative. Focus on your own definition of success and growth. When you shift your perspective in this way, you not only relieve yourself of the burdens of perfectionism but also pave the way for a deeper sense of fulfillment, self-compassion, and joy in all that you do

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