Domestic violence is a distressing problem affecting millions of people worldwide of all ages, genders, and socio-economic status. Whether you are a survivor, friend, family member, or colleague, understanding how to provide and receive support is crucial to breaking the cycle of abuse and fostering healing for your loved one. In this blog, I will offer guidance on providing and receiving support and helping survivors on their journey to safety and recovery.

Understanding Domestic Violence

First, it is necessary to understand domestic violence to provide support. Domestic violence incorporates a range of abusive behaviours, including physical, emotional, verbal, psychological, financial, and sexual abuse. Abuse is a pattern of coercive control, where one partner seeks to employ power and control over the other. This control may be displayed through manipulation, threats, isolation, and intimidation. Please see my blog here (https://fancytherapy.ca/blog/domestic-abuse-and-its-forms) for more information on the types of abuse and its signs.

How to Provide Support:

Here, I will offer you a list of ways you can provide support to someone you suspect is in an abusive relationship.

1. Provide a supportive environment: It is necessary to provide a safe and non-judgmental space for the survivor to speak freely. You can create a supportive environment that includes other individuals that can help.

2. Listen actively: While providing a supportive and safe environment, invite the survivor to tell their story and express their fears and feelings. Offer a listening ear without judgment, allowing them to feel validated, heard, and supported.

3. Empathize: Recognize and acknowledge the strength, courage, and vulnerability it took to share their experiences and emotions. Let the person experiencing abuse know you empathize with them and that they can trust you.

4. Be patient: Recognize that the person experiencing abuse is likely experiencing significant changes in their life. Be patient with the situation’s complexity and offer support where you can.

5. Offer information: Provide the survivor with information on available resources in their area, such as emergency shelters, crisis lines, support groups, and legal aid. Please encourage them to contact these agencies for support and assistance.

6. Encourage professional help: Suggest seeking professional help via counselling to cope with the impacts of abuse. Therapy is a safe and non-judgmental space for healing.

7. Respect choices: Acknowledge and recognize the factors that make it challenging for someone to leave an abusive relationship. For more information on these factors, see my previous blog called Why is it difficult to leave an abusive relationship? It is essential to respect the survivor’s autonomy and choices. You want to avoid pressuring them to make immediate choices and act. They are the best judge of when it is safest to decide to leave.

8. Safety plan: Lastly, help the survivor create a safety plan. This plan may include securing essential documents, finding a safe place to go if they are in immediate danger, and establishing a code word for emergencies.

How to Receive Support:

1. Reach out: If you are experiencing domestic abuse, reach out to someone you can trust and share your story. You don’t have to suffer in silence. You don’t have to face this challenge alone.

2. Create a safety plan: Create a detailed safety plan tailored to your circumstances with a professional or a trusted individual. A safety plan should include steps to take in case of immediate danger.

3. Seek professional help: Seek out support from domestic violence organizations and counsellors who specialize in abuse. Receive help from these professionals who offer support, guidance, and advice.

4. Connect with support groups: Join support groups for survivors of domestic abuse in your area or virtually. Groups like these provide community, empowerment, encouragement, and understanding.

5. Legal assistance: Contact legal aid to connect with a lawyer with whom you can explore your options, such as custody arrangements, divorce or separation, and restraining orders.

6. Financial support: Seek assistance securing your finances or obtaining employment. If it is possible, work towards financial independence.

7. Self-care: Self-care and prioritizing your overall well-being are crucial in stressful and challenging times. Engage in activities that bring you joy and promote relaxation.

Domestic violence is a worldwide issue that affects everyone. By recognizing the signs, actively listening, and offering support, we can help survivors break free from the cycle of abuse and start on the path to healing. If you are a survivor, remember that you are not alone, and help is available. You can regain control of your life and move towards a safer future by seeking help and support from professionals, friends, and family. Together, we can raise awareness, break the silence, and make a positive difference in the lives of those impacted by domestic violence.