We often hear the statement “I wish to be free” and assume it is impossible to achieve. What if it wasn’t? What if you've had the tools all along to achieve your sense of freedom?

When we talk about freedom, the first things we often consider are external circumstances such as the right to vote, speak freely, choose a career or partner, or move freely in the world without limitations. While these are important aspects of freedom, they only begin to break the barrier of what it means to be truly free. We assume we are restricted by society and those around us, and while there is truth behind that, often, the strongest chains preventing us from being truly free are invisible and controlled by ourselves.

Living in Canada, we live in a country that is considered free, where it is assumed that we are happy and live freely because of our privileges. So why do people still feel trapped? They feel trapped in their roles, expectations, and identities as they go through the motions of life, fulfilling responsibilities and obligations, meeting deadlines, and carrying the weight of unfulfilled dreams, repressed emotions and internalized conflicts. While we have the freedom of autonomy, we can still feel stuck. Real freedom is not always the ability to do as we please; it is having the internal permission to be who we wish to be without shame or fear of self-judgement.

Internal freedom is more than having an endless list of options to choose from; it is about developing psychological freedom through concepts like self-acceptance, emotional expression, and having the courage to authentically be yourself and stop hiding from who you really want to be. We place limitations on ourselves due to fear of what others may think and society's expectations. After conforming to others for so long, we begin to internalize their judgements and expectations. Others' words become our own, and they contribute to that little voice in your head that tells you to hide yourself, not to follow your dreams, and that doing what you want will put you to shame. To gain freedom, we must learn to quiet that voice and drop the masks we wear to gain approval from others or avoid judgment. This means allowing ourselves to feel everything unapologetically and to do what feels right for us.

This process is easier said than done. How do we erase years, if not decades, of conditioning to “stay positive,” “toughen up,” “show a good face,” or “don’t show emotion.” These messages cause a buildup of self-rejection and judgement over time, causing us to bury parts of ourselves and adding to the feeling of confinement we feel inside. While it is hard to reverse these long- lived patterns, it is not impossible. Freedom can start with something as simple as self-compassion. What is self-compassion exactly? It is the ability to treat ourselves with kindness, even when we feel broken, angry, lost, inadequate, or confused. It is what helps us recognize that we are human and that human beings are complex and imperfect. We make mistakes, but we need to forgive ourselves. Our worth is not a product of our appearance, decisions, or likability. To be free is to allow your emotions to pass through like waves and not see them as flaws; it is to allow your thoughts to come and go without holding onto them; it is being able to sit in your feelings without judging yourself for feeling them. In practicing self-compassion and nonjudgement for your internal self, you stop performing for others and instead live authentically according to who you want to be.

What can you do to start finding your freedom?

Slow down: Stop and check in with yourself. Allow yourself to feel your present emotions rather than suppressing or changing them to what you should feel. Ask yourself: What do I feel right now? What do I need?
Stop arguing with yourself: Accept your thoughts and feelings rather than pushing them away with the thought that they are wrong. Your feelings and thoughts are always valid but do not define you.
Set boundaries: Freedom can include saying no. Don't live according to what others want. Boundaries are choices that honour your energy and truth.
Be curious: Life is an adventure, and you are a part of it. We are never done learning about ourselves; the more you learn, the more you can embrace your true self.
Know your values and beliefs: Everyone is entitled to thoughts and beliefs. Knowing what you value can align your actions with your truth rather than looking to others for approval.
Self-affirmations: Saying kind words to yourself helps to build self- compassion and acceptance.

Freedom is not a final destination; it is an everlasting journey that requires daily practice to achieve. The ability to live honestly, courageously, unjudgmentally, and compassionately is easier said than done, but with the right tools, you can increase your self-awareness and grant yourself internal permission to live life according to you.

Resources

Free to be me? What does that really mean? (2022, September 5). Meaningful Care Matters. https://meaningfulcarematters.com/2022/09/free- to-be-me-what-does-that-really-mean/

Plus, E. (2024, September 21). Freedom: What does it mean to be truly free? English Plus Podcast. https://englishpluspodcast.com/freedom-what-does-it- mean-to-be-truly-free/

Segall, S. R. (2005). Mindfulness and self-development in psychotherapy. Journal of Transpersonal Psychology, 37(2), 143–163. https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2006-11360-004

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