Men are frequently conditioned to repress their emotions in many cultures, especially in South Asian and Black groups, where vulnerability is equated with weakness. Even though this emotional control is usually viewed as a sign of strength, it can have serious long-term effects on relationships, mental health, and future generations. This blog examines the negative effects of emotional repression on men's relationships, children, and aging, and it provides advice on how to end this destructive cycle.

Long Term Impacts

Emotional suppression, or the habit of concealing emotions, is reinforced by cultural expectations that encourage men to "toughen up." Over time, this suppression leads to:

Mental Health Challenges: Research indicates that men who repress their emotions are more likely to experience anxiety, depression, and psychological distress (Tsai & Lu, 2017).
Physical Health Consequences: According to research, suppressing emotions is linked to immune system weakness and elevated blood pressure (Juang et al., 2016).
Difficulty Processing Emotions: Men who suppress feelings struggle to express them later in life, making personal and professional challenges harder to navigate (Soto et al., 2011).

Impacts On Future Generations

Suppression of emotions has long-term effects on children as well as on the individual. Fathers who avoid emotional expression may struggle to connect with their children, leading to 

Intergenerational Emotional Suppression:

Children model behaviors they see. When fathers suppress emotions, their sons often learn to do the same, perpetuating the cycle (Sommers & Norton, 2006).
Attachment Issues: Research suggests that emotionally distant fathers hinder children’s ability to form secure attachments, leading to relational difficulties in adulthood (Juang et al., 2016).
Limited Emotional Intelligence: Lack of emotional expression causes children to struggle with communication and self-control, which impacts their personal and professional lives

How Emotional Suppression Affects Relationships

Romantic and social relationships require emotional openness. When men suppress emotions, it can lead to:

Struggles in Romantic Partnerships: Emotional suppression contributes to relationship dissatisfaction and a lack of intimacy. Partners may feel unheard or emotionally distant (Levine et al., 2016).
Shallow Friendships: Men who avoid discussing emotions often form surface-level friendships, leading to loneliness and isolation (Soto et al., 2011).
Workplace Stress: Suppressing emotions reduces effective communication and leadership skills, increasing stress and burnout (Pieterse et al., 2012).

Steps to Break the Cycle

1. Challenge Cultural Norms

It's crucial to reframe emotional expressiveness as an indication of strength rather than weakness. Men need to understand that resilience and stronger connections are fostered by vulnerability.

2. Develop Emotional Awareness

Understanding emotions helps manage them effectively. This includes:

Identifying emotions as they arise(physical reactions- clenched fist when angry or tight chest when in fear/anxiety, using I statements, physical outlets…)
Practicing self-reflection through journaling or therapy
Learning healthy coping mechanisms for stress and frustration (going to the gym, healthy distractions and hobbies, social connection and brotherhood, prioritizing sleep and nutrition)

3. Build Safe Emotional Spaces

Men need supportive environments where they can express themselves freely. This can include:

Close friendships where vulnerability is encouraged
Support groups focused on men’s mental health
Family conversations that normalize open discussion

4. Seek Professional Support

Therapy is a valuable tool in unlearning suppression. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) helps individuals identify and change negative thought patterns related to emotional repression (Cheung & Park, 2010).

5. Model Emotional Openness for the Next Generation Fathers and male role models can break the cycle by:

Expressing their emotions openly
Teaching their children emotional intelligence
Encouraging sons to express feelings without shaming them for it and not speaking negatively about who they should be- “That’s not manly”

Black and South Asian men have a long history of suppressing their emotions, which has serious repercussions for relationships, mental health, and future generations. However, men can redefine strength to include emotional awareness and vulnerability by recognizing its negative impacts and actively working toward improvement. They may build a healthier and more emotionally connected future by encouraging open conversations, looking for help, and setting an example of emotional expression.

References

Tsai, W., & Lu, Q. (2017). Culture, emotion suppression and disclosure, and health. Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 11(3).

Juang, L. P., & Cookston, J. T. (2016). Expressive suppression and social functioning in Asian American and Latino adolescents. Cultural Diversity and Ethnic Minority Psychology, 22(4), 587–595.

Pieterse, A. L., Todd, N. R., Neville, H. A., & Carter, R. T. (2012). Perceived racism and mental health among Black American adults: The moderating effects of racial socialization. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 59(1), 1–9.

Sommers, S. R., & Norton, M. I. (2006). Lay theories of racial prejudice. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 32(9), 1148–1158.

Cheung, R. Y., & Park, I. J. (2010). Anger suppression, interdependent self-construal, and depression among Asian American and European American college students. Cultural Diversity and Ethnic Minority Psychology, 16(4), 517–525.

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