The fact that you’re reading a blog post about this topic could mean you (or someone you know) is struggling with this strange and challenging and sometimes super bummer thing we call life. The natural process of seeking healing includes thinking about–and dipping a toe into–something that could feel very uncomfortable in our bodies and minds. After all, if someone has been suffering, sometimes the idea of feeling better, and letting those pesky inside-thoughts out might feel, well, a bit big (aka maybe even a lot big). And that concept of turning to something you haven’t before (not to mention the social stigma that comes along with therapy) might feel icky–it certainly did to me!

The weird truth of the matter is, if you’re wondering if you want to start therapy to help with some issues you’ve been having, you’ve already gotten familiar with discomfort. You probably live it every day. And I’m wondering if trying something different might feel a little better? After all, even 0.1% better isn’t 0.1% worse. Who’s to say until you give it a go right? If the math is mathing, read on.

What do I do if I think I should start therapy?

Like many things in life, the simplest (and hardest) step in the process is sometimes just starting (remember what I said about dipping a toe in?) Lots of complex emotions show up when people decide to start therapy, and it can be even more overwhelming for people when they feel like they are the ones at fault, too weak, too far behind, or simply not good enough. I’m here to tell you that this is something that many, many, many people have believed about themselves–I’d hazard to say it’s one of the most common wounds I’ve come across (and often remind myself of when I’m feeling less-than-stellar).

Another frustrating part about the process can be that many people that start (or are about to start) therapy want to feel better immediately–ideally like, yesterday, now that we’re wishing for things. As a result, some challenging emotions could show up: frustration, impatience, or shame for ‘not being better fast enough.’ While lots of people report feeling lighter after therapy sessions, that doesn’t mean that therapy doesn’t come with a heaping spoonful of weird. The social stigma, the people that might not get it, the fact that therapy just isn’t talked about or believed in for some cultures is a very real and valid thing. And I wish it were different for you. I wish it were different for all of us (are we still in “wishing for things” mode?)

How can my therapist help me if I think I’m depressed?

While some people prefer an in-person connection when they go to therapy, for others, that’s not a realistic possibility or sometimes even a preference. One of the perks of virtual therapy is that you don’t have to spend time travelling to and from therapy if you’re already feeling too busy to keep up, or if you’d prefer to have therapy over the phone or on video in a cosy place in your home. Some people like the idea of having a health professional diagnose what’s going on. It’s important to remember that the choice of doing that is yours. There’s no such thing as having to have a diagnosis to just want to talk to someone about what’s going on. Talk therapy can be just great without labelling anything. Some people like the idea, some people don’t, and what if either option was ok?

While psychotherapists aren’t allowed or trained to formally diagnose mental illness, what we can do is help with a holistic approach to managing mental health symptoms. We can reflect to you if what you are experiencing may or may not align with depression or anxiety symptoms. And then you decide what you want to do with that information–but we can help with talking that decision out too. And hey, that’s a pretty decent start, amirite? If someone does want a diagnosis, therapists can help provide other resources as a jumping off point for working with your doctor and/or other diagnostic professionals. Some examples are giving information on how to find assessment/diagnostic centres, information around what seeking a diagnosis might look like, and advocacy tools to help

Ok so what now?

All this to say, if you’re looking for someone to reach out to, there are plenty of therapists to choose from that can help you with this process. And now that we’re still wishing for things, I wish you all the best

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